Thankful Still

I cried for my mother yesterday.

What is it that brings out the longing that is so often just a quiet ache?

Sitting with my middle daughter and my sister, trying to choose the menu for the wedding my parents will miss, I felt the sad reality that they have died and will not be there.  It washed over me at the moment my brain was needed for other things.  (Like choosing food for the big party!)

Months have passed since I wrote the first lines of this potential blog. Months that have been achingly sweet.

2011 has brought me blessing. Our first grandchild, a new son-in-law, graduation of our youngest child, a blessed and hopeful future stretching out before me, filled with the promise of something I've often ached for: time.

Nothing can come close to having the choice to linger longer. I seem to revel in solitude. Delighting in stretching out moments filled with gratefulness. Our God is so good.

This short post began with the ache for my mother, but it ends with the ache satisfied by Someone so much better. An excerpt from a prayer written in the 1700's:


        My Saviour wept that all tears might be wiped  from my eyes,
          groaned that I might have endless song,
          endured all pain that I might have unfading health,
          bore a crown of thorns that I might have a crown of glory,
          bowed his head that I might uplift mine,
          experienced reproach that I might receive welcome,
          closed his eyes in death that I might gaze  on unclouded
          brightness, died that I might for ever live.  


                            Going into 2012, I am thankful still.